What a great question you’ve asked there, and we bet that a lot of people are wondering the exact same thing. There are many different styles out there now, that it can be difficult to keep up with them all.
Don’t feel discouraged or bad because when someone states that they’re a lumbersexual, you just nod along and pretend to know what that means. We’re here to help you with everything you need to know about the topic.
So, next time you meet a lumbersexual, you can strike a number of riveting conversations with them and impress everyone with your knowledge.
Even worse, you don’t want to be labeled as a lumbersexual without actually knowing what one is! We’ve never experienced this problem, but we bet it would be mighty embarrassing for everyone involved.
To avoid this face-reddening experience, we’ve collated some of the most frequently asked questions about lumbersexuals and answered them all for your benefit. Read through each one and take notes, this is very important knowledge should you ever encounter a lumbersexual yourself.
What Do Lumbersexuals Look Like?
Lumbersexuals are often characterized by their similarity to a lumberjack - a person who chops down trees and travels them to their next location, such as a sawmill or a log seller. They’ll have a long and untamed beard and often a plaid shirt on, and they’ll be residing in urban areas.
The contrast between their style and the area in which they live will be the most obvious telltale sign that a person is a lumbersexual. Lumbersexuals are essentially lumberjacks, but without any of the hard work involved. If you see a person who looks like they should be chopping down trees outside of a forest, they’re probably a lumbersexual.
What Does a Lumbersexual Lifestyle Consist Of?
You may be expecting the answer of this question to consist of rugged, adventurous answers in which lumbersexuals go out and enjoy nature in all its glory. Well, unfortunately, you’d be wrong.
In reality, you’d most likely find a lumbersexual blogging about various different topics, such as food, music, and books. Now, don’t get us wrong, there’s nothing wrong with this - but does it really require dressing up like a lumberjack?
Lumbersexuals are often also known for their satire and turning repressed anger into self-deprecating jokes. So, if you come across a highly-opinionated blog that is laced with this type of humor, you may be reading a lumbersexuals work.
As for professions, if they haven’t made their blog their full-time job yet, lumbersexuals are often hired in coffee shops. This gives them enough money to fuel their organic food and gig obsessions, while enough time to fulfill their lumbersexual hobbies and update their blog.
What Do I Do if I Want to Become a Lumbersexual?
Oh boy, you’re going to need to go on a shopping spree to achieve this dream. Firstly, we’d advise you to find a lumbersexual and hang around with them for a little while. Take note of their mannerisms, their hobbies, and how often they stroke their beard.
Do you think that you can compete with this? The lumbersexual lifestyle isn’t for everyone! That being said, if you’re sure that you’re ready for this commitment, there are a few things that you’ll need to get your hands on.
First up is a plaid shirt, preferably red, however, you can choose whatever color suits you best. Next up, some work boots. Don’t worry, you don’t actually have to go to work, but you will have to look like you're ready for a long day in the woodlands.
Jeans are a must - true lumberjacks would have baggy, straight-cut jeans, but feel free to go for something more stylish if the skinny jeans are calling your name. Of course, you can’t forget the beard oil, that should be smoothed into your beard every couple of hours.
Get ready to begin your blog and cut your working hours down as much as possible to become a true lumbersexual. We’d suggest that you budget your money to ensure that you can afford the daily overpriced coffee and organic food.
If you don’t like coffee, get over it. This is essential - you can always try a sugary fancy coffee drink, such as a caramel macchiato or a vanilla latte, but it must be a coffee no less. If you cannot budget this into your income, don’t be afraid to ask your parents for a loan or an extension on your pocket money.
And, don't forget about your facial hair. A great beard barber can help you trim your beard so it’s stylish and neat but still 'lumberjack-ish'.
What Do I Ask The Hairdresser For If I Wanted to Look Like a Lumbersexual?
While we haven’t touched on this subject yet, the hair is actually another very important aspect to complete the whole lumbersexual look. The hairstyle needs to work seamlessly with the beard, and the beard should look scruffy enough to fool anyone that you’re on your way to chop down some trees.
However, the hair on top of your head is completely different. You need to ensure that people don’t really believe that you’re a lumberjack - how insulting! Ask your hairdresser for a clean, gelled look that has some volume and height to it.
On your off days in which you don’t want to spend an hour in front of the mirror trying to replicate the perfect quiff, a beanie is a lumbersexuals dream. Throw it on over your messy hair and no one will know the terror you’re hiding underneath.
Is Lumbersexual a Sexual Preference?
Despite the slightly confusing name, no, the term lumbersexual does not have anything to do with a sexual preference. In fact, lumbersexuals get their name from the fact that they glorify and mimic lumberjacks, without actually doing any of the hard work that lumberjacks carry out.
If you’re wanting to become a lumbersexual, you do not need to worry about your sexual orientation. The lifestyle of a lumbersexual is free for everyone to adopt, as long as you enjoy cosplaying as a somewhat odd profession.
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What’s a Lumberjack’s Opinion on the Subject?
Unfortunately, there is a lack of studies that have been done on lumberjacks to tell us exactly how they feel about the subject matter. However, as many people still don’t know about the lumbersexual phenomenon, it’s likely that the majority of lumberjacks simply don’t know or care about the whole concept.
Well, that might not have been the drama-filled answer that you were hoping for - perhaps you wanted us to tell you that lumberjacks have been planning a war on lumbersexuals for many years now and that we’re all waiting for it to implode in a mess of plaid?
However, it is unfortunately true. The only way to get a more in-depth answer is to go hang around in the tree line and wait for a bunch of lumberjacks to come along so that you can ask them for yourselves.
Is Lumbersexual Just Another Word for a Hipster?
Although both a hipster and a lumbersexual do share some of the same qualities, there is a difference between the two - their attire. A hipster would not be seen dead in a red plaid shirt, or work boots for that matter.
You see, hipsters are supposed to be trendy - they’re not supposed to look like they’re about to go to work in the forest. While hipsters often come equipped with the scraggly beard, this is really where the similarities stop.
So, next time you see a person with a long beard, take note of whether they’re wearing a plaid shirt or a plaid scarf - one is not the same as the other.
Where Can I Find a Lumbersexual?
Should you want to find a lumbersexual and test out your new-found knowledge on one in real life, there are a few different places in which you can find one. A coffee shop is a great place to start. Lumbersexuals are often sat behind a laptop on their phones, giving at least the illusion that they’re working.
Events that showcase up-and-coming talent such as comedians and indie bands are another great place to go. The majority of the crowds will be lumbersexuals, so just look for the trademark plaid and beard.
Finally, if you have had no luck with the two options above and all hope is about to be lost, go to your local healthy grocery store. Lumbersexuals love organic food, so you’re most likely to be bound to find one lurking around the produce isles.
These three places are great ideas for you to go and meet your own lumbersexual for yourself. Make sure to wow them with the knowledge that you’ve learned from the answers we’ve provided above. Most importantly, make sure that you cherish the moment - lumbersexuals tend to gather and keep to themselves, so you may never see one again.
Well, there you have it. You now know what a lumbersexual is, how to find one, and even how to become one for yourself. We’ve even shed some light on how lumberjacks feel about the fact that there’s a whole style devoted to them, no mind that the result was a little lackluster.
There’s a high probability for the lumbersexual style to have staying power and relevance for years to come - particularly as it is reflected in the society around it.
We hope that you’ve learned something valuable and are able to correctly identify the lumbersexuals in your life!